The Soul & the Well of Hope

It has been quite a week and of course seems like ages since we finished our detox. That's the thing with doing these often, it's not an event, but an incorporated piece of our existence. Something we do, automatically to get the energy moving and to keep it doing just that.

So, there is a lot shifting and shaking for us these days - all thanks to our concerted effort to regain what we have lost, take back the pieces of our souls and move forward in Oneness. Anything you truly want, that's worth fighting for, is worth having.

Energetically speaking you cannot hope to move forward by much or for very long, with only bits and pieces of yourself. Part of the learning while walking this spiritual path is that we are meant to be whole beings (integration) - yet what we start out as is a shell of our former self.

This shell has to be cleared, cleaned and readied for it's ultimate filling up as we journey forward. Of course this is a life's work, an entire process of supernatural proportions that fills our time and minds with it's simplicity. 

Today I feel as if I have come out of a deep tunnel, an excavation of sorts - clearing out the debris of the past. Moving forwards on the path, it's as if this next section will be lit from within - underneath all that cold, dark and heavy energy there is a brightness to be found.

I know that this next leg of my journey is perhaps only beginning - the soul in itself is endless, but with distinctly defined borders, blueprints and maps for the days ahead and a well of hope flowing through the centre.

This well has been uncapped and the water runs sweet.

April

Sunrise

Diseases of the Soul - Fractured Light

We all hear day after day about physical ailments, mental dysfunction and now increasingly emotional disorders. These are becoming all too common in our vocabulary and have entered our consciousness in such a way as to make us certain not one thing about us can possibly be 'normal'. 

Whatever that means....

But we hardly ever hear of spiritual sickness or diseases of the soul as I would refer to them. How do they come about, what does it mean exactly and how on earth would you go about healing such a dysfunction...

Last night I went to bed after giving this topic some careful consideration. Actually I have been thinking about this subject, the soul, spirit, essence or whatever we want to refer to this part of our anatomy as, for quite some time.

It has certainly come into focus for me since doing my last detox - I have been working hard at coming to grips with my own mortal processes in and about the physical spiritual matter. And I have been having some physical symptoms of it's shifting.

My ribs, lower stomach and upper intestines have been sore while my most deeply ingrained patterns of worry, fear and dark energy have been coming up to the surface. There is not one of us untouched in some way at the level of the soul.

We have all experienced our share of lifetimes which left us shattered, broken unable to pick up the pieces of our lives leaving us scattered throughout our own history. Harm and negative intention of others reaching into our DNA.

Perhaps it is only through such a fractured light that we are able to carry on - drawing to us each wandering fragment. Drawn like a magnet towards home.

April

Sunrise this morning in Leap, West Cork

Pictures in My Head - The Spoken Soul

Today feels like a new day - a shift has taken place, of course there is a full moon in the sky and that always makes a nice difference too. The energy of the world just feels different when the moon is full, as if it's full of potential just waiting for us to scoop some of it up.

I am feeling pretty good as well - a little full of food (snacking, cooking and nibbling nonstop!) because of these recipes I am trying out and testing for my new recipe book.  On the one hand it is great to be this involved with my food, but on the other hand, someone has to eat it all!

This week has been an incredible awakening for me in a lot of ways. Perhaps starting with the fox but  even before that - things were already moving up and out. These memories have been here, just below the surface for ever really - I have written about them, talked about them and relived them over and over.

But, they never seem to 'go away' and I'm not sure that is what they are supposed to do. What do you do with memories from other lifetimes that persist because they are like a built in part of your own story. How does one incorporate things that have taken place in times past...

For me, it has not ever been much of a problem and I am not certain it is a problem now. I have always remembered my other lifetimes - as if I have lived continually and indeed I would think in those terms. That my life has only kept going, being born and born again as the same person with the same mission and purpose here on this planet.

The only thing that is different right now is the way things are bubbling up to the surface - I have to remember specific details, names, faces, dates, times and places - in a new way. I have long known the facts, but now there are pictures in my head - and sometimes this is hard to do because it's as if I am living it all again. 

One foot in front of the other, onwards and upwards...

April 

A tiny rainbow in the sky

Broken Pieces - Path of the Soul

I got up this morning bracing myself for more, worse or something bad to happen and right away realized this was a conditioned response of - what - grief, loss? Lifetimes of feeling devastated because of the energy around me and this darkness which has been rising up from the memories I carry. 

Today I should be feeling great - physically I do, my gut works well, I have eaten my porridge with fresh fruit and even had a piece of my Rosemary Sea salt bread (fabulous by the way) - yet I am feeling awful. And I can hardly put words to it - a searing ball of hurt.

Somewhere inside of my soul I have found a broken piece and now I have work to do.

Last night my dreams were scattered, but then so was I for the remainder of my day after we discovered our dead ducks and had to kill the fox. I usually see the spirit of the animal leave fairly immediately after it dies. My ducks essences' have remained while the fox was a full couple of hours before he went his way.

I think it was the way he left that has bothered me since. He moved with such an air of disbelief, yet he knew what he had done. He kept glancing back at me, as if waiting for me to come after him again. He stayed with his body for my benefit, out of defiance, to remind me that there was one duck who got away. 

We have been unable to find one brown duck - she was probably the oldest in the barn and I can sense her around, so I think she was able to fly off. Only now she will be too afraid to return. So hopefully she will see us there today and come home - if she's around, and can trust the barn and us to keep her safe again.

That fox waited even after death to kill the remaining duck and it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Because I was the child who survived an attack on our village in my lifetimes past - I got away, with help from the others, entrusted with the truth of who and what we were and most importantly, what had happened to us. 

Nothing can be erased, not one thing is forgotten - each of the ways and means used to stamp out awakening DNA have failed and will never work because we are designed by nature herself to remember these things. 

A fox cannot kill what he doesn't understand.

April 

Porridge with homemade jam and banana

Cellular Memory of the Soul

Today is day 22 - the day my master cleanse is officially over and I am onto the juice. I am feeling pretty good - at least I was until I went down to the barn this morning...

I know that this is life and that everyone has to eat - however, my well tended and hand reared ducks are not supposed to be on anyone else's menu but my own. When I went down to the barn this morning they were all dead. As luck would have it, the culprit was locked in the barn with the evidence all around him.

After a quick ring to a neighbour, he was also taken care of and now we have 7 dead ducks and 1 dead fox. He was a fully grown, well fed fox who was not hungry - so why would he go into a barn and kill (not eat) all my ducks?

Some would say that is nature and this is how these cycles of the natural world function. One animal is another animals dinner. But, it wasn't dinner - it was cold blooded murder and sport. He had a ball chasing and killing defenseless animals - he had no intention of eating.

I could actually feel compassion for any animal that was hungry and in need of food - I still would not sacrifice my ducks for the cause! But, I might understand it a little better and maybe even have considered letting him go...

As it was, once he knew there were animals in the barn, he would not stop until everything was dead and our animals would all suffer a terrible fate. So, it was payback - an eye for an eye in the politics of the barnyard.

This scenario hits an even deeper cord with me because of my own personal history and heritage - I am descended from the now 'extinct' (can you believe an entire race can be wiped out?) Beothuk Indians in Newfoundland. Only a few families with some of their ancient blood running through our veins remain. 

This race of peaceful non violent people were healers, anchors and place holders on this planet for a higher level of consciousness not found here since their demise. The last full blooded Beothuk died nearly 200 years ago now - not from illness, or starvation or accident - but from being hunted like animals and killed for sport. 

I had long wondered when this part of my cellular memory, DNA, history and the emotional scars I have carried forward would come up to the surface. And now I see I have my answer - this last detox has loosened these chains that bound my heart and our story will tumble forth. 

Because I remember 

April

Sunflowers - reaching towards the light 

Last Big Push! Day 21

Well, this is it - finally it's day 21 and I only have a few hours left to achieve my goal. That's 21 full days drinking only Master Cleanse juice (my own recipe) with herbal teas and water. My body feels squeaky clean and ready to move forward.

I am having loads of dreams, feel great, some detox symptoms such as coated tongue and sore back at times. I think the majority of the clearing is taking place in my back - lungs, kidneys, bowel and so forth. But, it's totally manageable.

Last night my dreams were of Oprah and Lady Gaga - don't ask, because I don't know either!! LOL All I can think of is that I read Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star before I went to bed... but either way, they were very informative and interesting dreams. As usual during a detox.

Today, feels like I am just punching time until tomorrow morning when I can start on my juice - however, if other cleanses are any indication, this will be a most interesting day. The final detox cycle will be in full swing and I should get lots of insights into why and what was achieved these past 3weeks.

I have a feeling it has everything to do with this nasty ball of energy that is coming up in my stomach - it has been there forever, is full of other people's anger and negative energy and I can't wait to get this moving out. It's something I have been working towards for awhile.

Perhaps this detox has been even deeper than I thought. I will keep you posted,

April

Lemon Thyme in my garden

Day 20 - Nearly There

I finally have a chance to write - these last hours of my 21 day detox, I am trying my best to keep busy and to keep everyone else focused as we come into the home stretch of this. It is important work and I don't think I have done anything better for myself, my mind, body and soul, ever.

Today I am feeling pretty good - a little tired from running around and trying to get a few things done, but nothing out of the ordinary. I don't have many detox symptoms right now - my body is at it's best when I am nearing the end of any cleanse.

I feel like myself. It is uncanny - it's as if I am thinking clearly, feeling clear, seeing clearly and it all feels so very right somehow. I can't explain it any better then that. If you have yet to do a detox or master cleanse - you don't know what you are missing.

Seriously.

This other thing that takes place is something in my life shifts, changes, alters and opens up for the better each time I do one of these. There is a method to this madness! LOL - None of this disciplined hard work is in vain. 

You achieve something significant, you will get results - anything worth doing is worth doing properly and well - and that is how I feel about walking through each of these cleanses. It's not always easy, but you train your mind, focus and get on with it.

Tomorrow is my last day and I can't wait - next week we have a birthday celebration so I have lots of cooking and special meals to make. You know what that means - piles of yummy food to prepare and indulge in! 

It is always worth the wait

April

Our Top Bar Bee Hive at Inishbeg in the Summer

Standing In Our Own Power - Day 19 of My Detox

Today feels a little more settled as far as energy goes, however there is still much change in the air - and it is all quite good. Change seems to be what we are all seeking, yet many times we feel it is too much to undertake or we don't know how to create it.

I remember feeling like that - waking up in the morning, deciding to make some positive changes, starting out on the right foot, sometimes even lasting for a day, a week or so. But then falling back into the old patterns. 

It was as if something was working against me. Some energy or force was counteracting my own efforts to move forward - and it was overpowering all of my good intentions. At the time, I used to blame myself - for every failure and fault.

But, at the same time, I had several people around me who would deliberately sabotage my every effort to be healthier or forge ahead with my own dreams. I have done a lot of work around this over the years because at the time it absolutely baffled me.

Now, I can see a few reasons why someone would want to hold another person back - however it doesn't make it any easier to comprehend. I am mentioning this because it takes place in everyone's lives to some extent.

And it is not a nice feeling. At the end of the day as long as people such as these remain in your life, you will find yourself going around in circles. And not circles of your own making - but someone else's agenda and thoughts about your life.

During this detox I have been giving a lot of thought to each of these things - perhaps because they are coming up and hopefully resolving to a greater degree. But also because there is such an otherworldly component involved in this type of interference energy.

Quite often ghosts, disembodied spirits, orbs and those whose lives have expired but manage to remain here, have the strongest interest in maintaining the status quo. And that means keeping you firmly fixed in place. 

Not anymore - 'these boots were made for walking' - and life is all about standing in your own power. 

April 

Wild Energy & Evolving Consciousness

This is probably the start of some interesting energy! Great storm last night - wild wind, huge thunder and lightening show - not something we would see that often here in West Cork. Then the power went and it was gone for about 6 hours or so...

Something tells me, that times are changing! LOL

Well, today is Day 18 of my Master Cleanse and I am feeling about the same - actually if I said I was doing better I would not be exaggerating. I have even increased my workouts (I usually do this during a cleanse) to include more free weights and extra Yoga. The stretching feels great.

And again last night I had fabulous dreams...I really liked the one of my male cat turning out to be female and arriving home with the most gorgeous kitten I ever saw, who proceeded to grow from a very tiny little newborn into a larger cat, before my eyes.

Like I said - a detox will bring out the best in you!! The rest of my dreams seemed to be about water, food and things shifting around. Cleaning up with water and so forth. As far as I am concerned, this is ample information that I am moving in the right directions.

Right now I only have 4 days left (only!) for this cleanse and I am looking forward to getting back to food - just now we were talking about what we are craving and at first I said nothing. But then realized that I was probably looking forward to some fish...

Maybe it's because I have been working on some fish recipes, but I do love fish and it is our dish of choice on Solstice Eve....actually we eat lots of it during the holidays. Coming from the sea onto our plates brings something really powerful (I don't like the farmed stuff) perhaps a piece of evolving consciousness...

April

The lovely Yarrow plant in my garden on a summers day...

The Power of Focused Belief - Day 17

Well, here I am - a week later, for some reason I always follow my weeks with the Wednesday, once this day is over, the week is drawing to a close. So here I am on my last Wednesday of my detox and day 17.

It feels really good to finally get to this point - this is the longest time I have detoxed since my 40 days last year...so lots of memories have been coming up to the surface from that time. I feel pretty good though and know that I am not finished yet.

But, I am certainly glad to be in the final few days of this because I have cooking, recipe testing to do and can't wait to sample some new dishes I have been working on during my cleanse. It always brings out my creative side! LOL

The main theme coming up for me this time around has been all about sticking with my own plans, following through on my own dreams. I have always been one to be single minded when it comes to being able to focus and make plans, however....

With my own dreams, I can see my pattern of allowing others agendas to creep in and then I push aside my own plans to accommodate some one else. This has the effect of eroding away at my hopes, wishes and desires - perhaps to the point of despair.

Because in the past I have watched myself just give up on the things I wanted so badly while another agenda overtook my own. Well, not this time - I am sticking to the plan, staying with my own dreams and continuing on with what I am trying to achieve no matter what.

Time will tell - and I have a feeling that I will be proven right. Do not let others dreams take over your own, then you become a slave to something outside of yourself. Instead, remain focused on what you want, listen to your heart and you will find it all waiting for you at the end. 

The power of belief in action....

April

Willow Trees in the garden...

Releasing Hungry Ghosts from the Past... Day 16

I am sitting here and the sun is shining in my eyes, on my face - it is warm and really nice, especially after 3 days of steady rain. The ground outside is soaked, drenched in fact and muddy. I know one day of sun or even a few hours won't do much to dry things out, but does it ever cheer the soul!

The sun itself must be part of some magical quality here on our planet - I mean, we can't live without it, the plants need it in order to grow and develop properly. And we need a regular dose of vitamin D from it - as much as possible - in these northern climates.

But it must also trigger something more because we are so drawn to it's rays - the sun represents life itself and of course brings life back to the earth. No wonder the ancient pagans spent so much time and energy celebrating the sun.

I think they knew all of this and perhaps far more about the role of the sun in our lives. They knew how much light affects our well-being, bolsters our immune defences and helps us to balance internal processes. It also encourages healing, and of course moving into higher consciousness.

Today I am on day 16 of my detox - I feel great. I am focused, clearing, organizing, writing, creating and really present to all that is taking place inside as well as outside of me. I have plenty of detox symptoms going on - especially my hair which is limp and heavy, my skin is a little bumpy and my tongue is really coated. 

There is a sense that once again I am detoxing from birth and perhaps even before birth - hopefully breaking apart some of these patterns set up for me early in life - because my diet and environment were both terrible! LOL

Having started out life on full fat evaporated cows milk - with digestive issues ever since - it would be a blessing to finally heal my gut completely and release these hungry ghosts of the past...

April 

Swans on Lough Hyne West Cork

A Physical Shift in the Right Direction - Higher Consciousness

When you are fasting each day is a milestone because you have made it through another few hours or a day. But also another detox cycle (as I refer to them) of one to three days where your body dips deeply into the tissues to pull something to the surface. 

For me this is day 15 of my detox and I am feeling pretty good - what I like so much about all of this is the fact that I am observing my body in action. Which is both amazing and humbling to witness. At one time I would have said I had seen it all - perhaps when I healed my body of cancer using clean water, food, exercise and herbs.

And then when I had my daughter at home in a free birth - that for me was such an event in my life. Again, watching, witnessing, in complete awe of what my body was capable of. Right now I am seeing this again. 

Perhaps month after month as I uncover, unwrap and undo all of these years of toxins which had been held deeply in place in the matrix of my organs, tissues and bones - I am seeing something even more profound and more extraordinary than ever before.

My body is changing - the cells, the structure, the inner processes and even down to the DNA are all shifting into something different and completely new. I can feel it all around me as I go about my day - paying attention to the smallest details will provide all the clues.

This is the one thing about detox using water and herbs - and a very important aspect of doing spiritual work properly. Your body will use the water to clean, clear, shift and create the body you need here on earth. A body ready and able to carry higher levels of consciousness. 

And to think - most of this resistance has been affecting my mind - overcome those influences and it all starts to fall into place.

April

Day 14 - Losing Their Religion

Today is day 14 of my detox and I am now 2/3 of the way to my goal of 21 days. I am feeling pretty good, I don't expect to feel bad - fasting never makes me feel anything other than as if I have gone into a deep clean cycle and this is what my body does.

So, with that in mind - this is really a deep clean! My dreams are all about some dark energy that I encountered quite a number of years ago as well as several people from my past who could not accept anything about me (intuitive, holistic, alternative, pagan) and desperately tried to change me.

Of course, their efforts were in vain because it only served to push me away. As far away as I could get in fact...

Yesterday I mentioned the over mind - and this is still quite prevalent today. I can see, feel and am gaining insight into how I was affected so profoundly by other people's thoughts. Perhaps being an empath doesn't help in this situation - because if you fell down, I feel the pain. And that has not always been a good thing!

But what else have I taken on? And more importantly, how has it affected me, shaped my life or held me back from my own personal goals in this life? It is starting to come to light from both my dreams and my insights during the day that it has slowed me down and altered my life quite a bit.

When someone else thinks a certain way about you and has a strong presence in your life - these thoughts enter your energy field. When these people are close enough to you to drain your energy, of course, the result is an uptake of foreign energy to take the place of the energy you have lost.

This is not a complex process - basic energy medicine - something has gone out from you, a vacuum is created and something comes in to take it's place (you can read all about this in my books). Then you end up with a portion of your energy field operating from a vibration separate from your own - otherwise known as an energy block.

Unfortunately this happens all the time - any toxin or foreign substance can cause you to leak energy. A detox, change of diet, removal of non nutrients will being to reverse this process - then it's watch out world!

April 

Our turtle - Solstice 

Tackling the 'Over Mind' on Day 13

Another day has come and nearly gone now - always busy on Saturdays for me, perhaps my favourite day of the week really, mostly because we are all together on the weekends. But also because it is my day out and about....

I don't need that a lot - sometimes I think I hardly need other people at all! My mind, body and soul are such interesting places to be and being intuitive, my head is constantly full of other worlds, pictures, faces, senses and stuff. 

It can be a whirl wind of activity at times and especially during a cleanse. I was just thinking to myself how much I enjoy these days spent detoxing - my system is empty, clear and that means every thing inside of me is aware or not dulled down in any way.

It is really nice to be so in touch and in tune with your own body. But also to get the sense that you are in step with the rest of the world as well. It's a treat and I wouldn't trade these days for anything. It really is entirely about mastering the mind - or perhaps a better way to put that is to overcome the outside influences that have been controlling our minds. 

I usually refer to this as the 'over mind' - it is a real issue out there in the world at large and you cannot help but run into it whenever you are 'out there'. It's like walking into a big supermarket with a list and coming out with loads more than you had planned. 

Something else takes over your mind and you think - why not. Or perhaps some of the time, we don't think at all - we just act automatically as if we were robots. It is far more then just clever marketing too - very strange vibes in some of these places...

When we are struggling with weight, eating, impulsive behavior and so forth - perhaps this sort of over mind plays a far bigger role then anyone realizes. It is a sinister force out there and of course, everything gets taken apart during a cleanse - so I am curious to see how this one plays out.

As far as the rest of the detox - still dreaming loads, symptoms are ok so far, increasing my exercise again to keep things moving and reminding myself that this is for such a short period of time in the overall scheme of things. 

I remind myself that this will be over very soon, then I can eat what I want, all I want. The food will be there at the end of the cleanse, just like a prize for the winner. Great food in appropriate proportions that will nourish and fuel my clear body. 

So, another day closes and I am nearly complete with day 13 - the sky is clear, a little sliver of a moon is out and all is well.

April

Blossom - our goat

Now on Day 12 - Persistence on the Spiritual Path

At this point last month I was on my last day of my detox - but this time around being closer to Solstice and  in the middle of detox season, I am only just getting into it! Today is day 12 and I am doing great - in terms of things moving and shaking as I had hoped they would.

I have every symptom in the book as far as detox goes - my tongue is coated, a little achey at times, my back is sore (just like last time), my hair is limp but very soft, my skin is a little bumpy and my mind is clear. 

Things are moving - shifting and releasing especially at the shadow side and that is what I had wanted. To clear whatever has been holding me back, once and for all (at least to get down to another of these big layers) and to get moving in the directions I want to go in.

Of course all along I am moving, changing and gaining ground towards my desired goals - I use these cleanses to speed things up, get far more clarity and to remove the toxins that interfere with the process of shifting consciousness.

So, today I have done another Salt water flush, I have been steadily increasing my exercise as well over the past few days. Mostly doing more yoga because that makes me feel so good while it also works on the mind too. 

My dreams are very telling at night and I rely on them so much for guidance and information showing me each stage as well as what is to come. Last night I dreamed of walking a long road looking for a way home, I knew my family was waiting for me and expecting me, but I could not contact them to let them know I was on my way.

In the dream my phone was dead, there were lots of other people and it was dark. But I was moving forward, not afraid and determined to make it home. It was only a matter of time...

And that is pretty much what walking a spiritual path is all about - clear, cleanse, walk the talk and do not ever give up.

April 

Art in the morning....

Day 11 and More Then Fine - Terrific!

Now I am officially over the half way mark - it's day 11 and I am doing fine. My eyes are bright, my skin is a little bumpy, my energy is good and I 'feel' like myself. Just like any other day on an intensive, soul searching, energy pattern life altering cleanse! LOL

Actually I am more than fine - I am terrific. My mind just feels free, clear and creative. I would probably be best described as a bit of a creative spirit usually, but when I am cleansing it's as if there is far more of me present.

I was thinking this morning how nice it was to feel like this but at the same time how I also have to be prepared to take full responsibility for the new/buried/hidden parts of me that surface. What I have found over these past 2 years especially (intensive detoxes) is that my artistic side flourishes whenever I am doing a cleanse and I just want to make things, cook, draw, colour, write and anything else I can do.

It's not a bad way to be at all. Of course I am still keeping up with some cooking right now as I have other mouths to feed, rather then my own - so this morning when I was making a fresh loaf of bread for my daughter I was carefully considering what other things I might do with bread to create even better and more interesting tastes.

Then I moved on to drawing and painting while I got everyone and everything sorted for the day. Between kids, animals, garden and livestock it is full on some mornings - however, easy enough to get it all down to a routine (if everyone cooperates!).

Today I am really sensing that this detox is now shifting into the emotional, mental and deeper levels - and I am looking forward to this change. Perhaps that also has something to do with wanting to create and make things - other sides of me are more engaged.

As usual I am also systematically going through the house cleaning each day - by the time this one is over I should be in great shape - inside and out.

April

Art in the Morning

Old Energy Patterns Being Dismantled

Finally - I was thinking late last night before I went to sleep how I was getting the sense of a little break though with this cleanse...it was as if things were starting to make sense or that the goal I started out with was now coming into focus. 

Yesterday I had good levels of energy as well as got some exercise in as well as all the other things I do in a day - I spent some time down in the barn with the goats (because they were in for the day on account of the rain) and that left me feeling peaceful.

I had very telling dreams again last night - dreams all night long of the same things, people and places as well as the energy that was coming in from each of the interactions. In one dream a person who I know to be very angry had shown up at our house and was leaving great piles of old stuff (broken furniture, old clothes, old toys etc.) things I did not not want or need.

I just stood there asking why I had to take this on in my house when I clearly did not want it. Then she was leaving to go get more. In the dream she completely ignored me as if I wasn't even there and my protests fell on deaf ears.

So, that told me a lot. This wasn't anything new of course, an old pattern from family members - being dumped on with things that do not belong and I didn't want. Then feeling powerless to do much about it because my voice was not heard or paid attention to.

I have been wondering when this one would surface - it shows me how deep this cleanse is going but also what I am tackling right now as well. Many of us drawn to these healing professions have these energetic patterns - very unhealthy and dispiriting at the same time.

There is nothing like a deep cleanse to get this moving and hopefully keep it moving out...

April

Sunrise this morning in Leap, West Cork

Pieces of My Soul....

Normally this would be nearly the end of my detox - day 9 out of a usual 10 days. However I am not even halfway yet with this one so I have a few more days to go before I start counting down the days. 

But, it's not so bad. Not at all. I feel as if I am accomplishing so much, inside and out - my mind is in a bit of a muddle though and that is a first for me during a cleanse. Perhaps this level of clearing requires something more from me and focus is far more difficult.

To explain what I sense is taking place -- perhaps it is best to mention my dreams. Last night I was dreaming of banks, souls and contracts... It was actually quite disturbing in some ways. I was sort of traveling throughout my entire lifetime and any dealings with a bank entailed me signing over pieces of my soul.

This is not a nice thought, and an even worse feeling. But, it does make sense and I can see where this is all coming from. Any time we have to sign a contract, it's as if it is written in blood and that liquid is squeezed out of our soul.

So, today I am mulling over these things, working harder at being focused and spending some time being quiet. I just came in from the barn after bringing down treats (apples, kale, kiwi) for the goats, spent some time with them and feel more at peace about things.

Nothing like beautiful animals to put things into perspective. I am also going to do some cooking today- once this cleanse is finished we have a birthday celebration and I want to get a few things done. Even though it is early, puttering around the kitchen always helps me to think and gain insights into what I am walking through at the moment.

Perhaps these 21 days will be another turning point in my life.... I certainly hope so. All I can tell you right now, is that each day I spend detoxing is time well spent. 

April

My daughter with giraffes in the background at Fota Park

A Thankful Heart - Day 8 of My Detox

This is day 8 and I have definitely settled into this new routine of fasting - I am feeling pretty good as well. And sleeping fairly deeply these last couple of nights - in spite of all the dreams!

I have more detox symptoms today then yesterday - perhaps it just took a little while for them all to surface. Today I have a coated tongue, my skin is a little bumpy, my hair is limp and all the usual outward signs of cleansing are there.

Emotionally I am holding steady - but I can feel energy rising up in waves throughout the day as I progress though a host of different feelings, thoughts and senses. It's all quite good as well because I have such a strong inner indication that things are moving. 

Right now I am remembering all the game meat I have eaten as a child and in fact I swear I can even smell it on my skin. I grew up in a house of hunters - we all hunted and I was taken out trapping, hunting and fishing from a very young age.

The meat eaten in that house at this time of year was moose, rabbit and some sea ducks. Today I can smell cooked rabbit and perhaps even the sense of the fur from a moose... It is quite uncanny actually because I have always thought of these animals as having souls of some kind.

Perhaps not souls as we humans have but certainly some kind of divine essence and connection that links into us when we use them for food. I often wonder if we were ever thankful back then for these animals who gave their lives for us to eat.

Perhaps today, this is a good place to start - with a thankful heart while I seek a deeper understanding of where we all fit into this bigger picture on this planet. 

April 

Art on a Monday Morning....

Day 7 of My Detox

Today is day 7 - at one time this would have been a very significant milestone for a 10 day Master Cleanse - but as I hope to do a little longer this time, I am only a week into it! LOL

Right now I am planning to do at least 20 days - this is what I would consider to be an emotional detox as opposed to a purely physical one. Believe me there is a difference and I am looking forward to getting past the 10 day mark - usually that is when things shift into a deeper zone.

So today has been pretty good so far - keeping myself busy with cleaning and taking advantage of this extra energy. For the most part I don't have many physical symptoms of detox - just the mental, emotional and spiritual ones.

That being said they would be mainly lots of old memories, feelings and patterns coming to the surface. I notice them because when you are detoxing you need to pay attention to everything - it is often easier to do that when you are not eating.

Your body has only to focus on what is coming up and your mind has the time to process or digest the things that are floating through. This is actually (finally) the type of work that I had been trying to do for many years.

Of course for me this time around it is all about my inner child - I started doing this work more than 20 years ago, but there is still so much to be done. I feel as if this cleanse could shift things once and for all. There are huge changes taking place inside - so we'll see what surfaces over the next few days or so.

This is going to be a great week!

April

The Dreams We Have As Children....

I am now on day 6 of my Master Cleanse and things are really settling into full swing. I have been dreaming all night long - it seems as if I only have to close my eyes and I slip into some other world where work is being done.

Last night I dreamt of everything from cooked turkey to trying on dresses - it was quite a busy night. I am sleeping though in the middle of it all, so at least there is that. 

Today I have been feeling pretty good - as usual the best part of cleansing is the energy levels are always great. I have not stopped today and for some reason am having a hard time getting myself to sit. I just want to stand, walk and move around.

One new thing in our house today is that the canary laid a little tiny blue egg. I think her mate is too young so it won't be a fertile egg - the kids are already calling it a mini-omlette. Such farm hands they are! So, I will keep you posted on the baby canary front.

Other than that, the lads are joining me tomorrow to start their cleanse and my week to myself will be coming to a close. It has been a great learning curve for me not only with going it alone but also proving to myself that I can focus on anything I put my mind to, even while cooking for the rest of the house and watching them eat.

The rest of my detox symptoms are pretty tame on the physical front - this one is all emotional, mental and spiritual. I am doing a lot of work with my inner child at this point and have memories coming to the surface from early childhood.

I am also making lots of connections to things that are from these negative patterns of fear set down when I was young. Fear seems to be a huge factor - for the life of me I had not realized how fearful childhood must be.

Or perhaps it was just my childhood? I certainly hope that my own children don't feel as fearful as this...it has got me thinking about things, that is for certain. I am sure there will be more to come in the next few days.

April

Stewed apples & cinnamon - comfort food!

Day 5 - Cleanse All to Myself...

Today is day 5 of my unofficial Master Cleanse - LOL. I am still using that word and keeping a fairly low profile about it - but only with myself. And you know what? I have had hardly any detox symptoms, at least not physical ones anyway.

Otherwise there is lots going on in my head and emotionally. It actually feels as if I have simply picked up where I left off in November - as if I wasn't quite finished with that particular cleanse or something. So, it feels really right to carry on.

Physically I am feeling fine - good energy levels, slight coating on tongue, my tummy is a bit bloated, and I am feeling cold when outside. Mentally there is a lot coming up for me from very early in my childhood - mostly of other people's anger, hostility and dark energy. Perhaps to do with religion?

Last night my dreams were very deep and quite telling. All about me, taking care of other people, taking on their 'energy' in the form of clothes that did not fit and then losing out in the end. Sound familiar to anyone out there? 

Very unhealthy patterns set up early in life living with a dysfunctional family where I never quite got to be a child. I realized a few years ago that since my own children were born, it was the first time I remembered playing (I had to learn how) and I have gone through each of their phases with them.

So, all good so far. 

The others will join me in a couple of days and my detox week to myself will soon be over - I have quite liked it actually. It feels as if I have only got to be responsible for my own well being or something - while cleansing. 

Usually I am so closely monitoring and helping everyone else that I don't always get much time to process my own stuff. If you want to change anything in your life - this is the easiest and best way to do that.

April

Sunlight shining through the MC juice 

Anti Christs on the Spiritual Path - Night Shades

Last night was a tough night in terms of feeling discouraged - I am not entirely sure why I was feeling like this - but I do know it is a mind thing and of course with this cleanse it is to be expected. I have a feeling that some of these toxins coming to the surface right now are going to be the darkest things ever to come up...

I have been dreaming of Night Shades again and of course that is my largest clue as to what is being detoxed out of my body right now. To be honest, I can't for the life of me believe that so many people are still eating this most toxic plant and thinking that their bodies will be ok with it.

But then we have loads of people also eating sugar, drinking alcohol and taking in plenty of other nasties and wondering why their tummies are off or they have no energy. And eventually far worse once dysfunction and disease sets in.

A little bit of poison is still poison. I could not justify going out of my way day after day to find and grow organic foods, only then to turn around and fill my body with something as addictive and dark as a Night Shade or sugar.

If you are still wondering about the Night Shades fruits - they include tomatoes, potatoes, aubergine, chillies, peppers, gogi berries, and a few other relatives of the tobacco family. These particular fruits are from highly toxic plants - the poison compounds extend throughout the entire plant.

They are connected to chronic pain, bloating and Irritable Bowel Syndrome and anything that pulls down human spirituality. 

Very nearly the first thing I was taught by my body when walking this spiritual path was to systematically remove toxins and then to stay away from them permanently. You cannot reach higher states of inner knowledge while living in a toxic body. Even though I knew about these Night Shades in the early 90's it was still a few years before I was able to get out of their grip.

But once I did - it took about 72 hours (and since then a few detoxes) to make significant changes to nearly every area of my life. In my books I refer to this group of fruits as the Anti-Christ - mainly because I have been shown that they are the forbidden fruits in the garden of Eden.

And they will stop you cold on your path to higher consciousness, spiritual awakening and any personal quest for body wisdom. Seriously. Cut them out of your life and see what happens.

April

Trust, Persistance and Determination

Unofficially it is day 3 of my little detox - I still feel as if I am keeping this a fairly low profile - I haven't even told myself yet! LOL And I am still only taking in water... perhaps today I will make some cleanse juice and get this show on the road.

However, it does feel nice to just have some space and time to quietly reflect as I walk this path on my own. No one else in the house is joining me on this cleanse for a few days yet. So it feels like this is a part I have all to myself.

It's kind of nice too - but for some strange reason I had been thinking it would be far harder to go it alone. I am so used to having the camaraderie of others when I do these cleanses. Perhaps walking this first week or so on my own will provide me with insights and time to process through things not touched on otherwise.

Yesterday was definitely a testing day - my patience and ability to persist at what I choose to do have been put to the test. It all started with the goats....they are such lovely creatures but stubborn and of course we are all just getting to know each other.

Getting these goats back into their stalls in the evening has been hit and miss - a couple of times they just walked right in and settled down. However the rest of the time - no way. They were not going in until they felt it was time and that was final.

So, persistence and patience all round - of course then I was questioning the wisdom of having such large animals at this time. Falling back to an old pattern of thinking - the things I want to do and have are not the best.

But of course they are. This is simply a learning curve for us and them as we all get to know each other.  For the most part I think they were testing me to see how far they could push while they figure out what kind of people we are.

Perhaps this is the kind of persistence we all need - they were interested in the trees and shrubs in the paddock. Nothing was going to take them from their snack - not even a treat. Once it grew dark, they were ready to go into the barn for the night.

Simple really. If we had that same kind of determination and focus - but at the same time trust that the warm safe place is there at the end of the day - it might all just work out perfectly.

April 

In the paddock....

Times of Spiritual Testing...

Today has been another interesting day - perhaps lessons in patience and persistence. I often wonder just how far I will take this and how long I will keep going and when I will finally be 'there'. I know I will get to where I want to be eventually...

Such is my faith in my dreams, my abilities and my own body as guide along this path I am walking. However, there are days that really test that faith and leave me wondering how much more or how much further must I travel down this road.

Does any of this sound familiar to you? Are you having similar days of being 'tested' to see how you fare or how easily you might give up. I have a feeling that the entire point here is to not give up no matter what life throws at you.

To not only not give up but to not change, not give in and not compromise one dream, one hope, one wish or desire - stay the course so to speak and see what comes your way. 

Today I am still fasting - actually I am debating whether or not to carry on and do a full out Master Cleanse - I still have yet to decide what I would like to do. Right now things are coming up to the surface for me fast and furious and I actually love it.

It feels as if something is moving - so I don't want to spoil this for anything. If things are going well - don't stop what you are doing but keep moving towards you final goal. And my goal is to keep this energy moving right now.

So, I guess I am to carry on, at least for now - time's of testing can be quite interesting and throw us somewhat however, they will prove your worth - most importantly to yourself.

April

Patterns of Limiting Self Belief

Today I am getting back to myself after the week or so off from well, nearly everything! After our last cleanse it was a welcome break - and I just loved all the baking, cooking and eating...But now I am ready to get back into the swing of things.

So, today is a fast day, tomorrow, well we'll see when that day comes how it will be. If I was to go with what I am feeling right now I could nearly say that I should start my 20 day Master Cleanse and just get going with it.

I am looking forward to moving more deeply into the core of my being. That is exactly where I feel I am heading at this moment. My dreams are all indicating something very deep coming up to the surface as well as finally some breakthroughs I have been hoping for.

One of the most significant things I have realized recently - and in years past I have done quite a bit of work around it - is how when people close to you, don't believe in you and criticize your beliefs, the toll this can take on the spirit.

I am not even certain I have phrased it properly - so perhaps it is better to give an example. For myself, I have been repeatedly told by the aunt who raised me that I was nothing, a nobody and would not amount to anything.

For other people perhaps words were not spoken but a complete lack of belief in their abilities has been implied and then acted upon. As another example, I know someone who is very capable and highly intelligent, yet was pushed into menial work and encouraged to stay there.

He has fought all of his life since to get out of those positions, to educate himself (because his family refused, he wasn't worth it) and to find his own inner self-belief. Now, he has degrees and is in the process of following his own dreams. 

The power of hateful words from someone who is supposed to love and support you is soul destroying.  

I couldn't imagine even thinking that my children were incapable of something marvelous and fantastic in this world and indeed I will do all I can to support their dreams and hopes. Come to think of it, they are already amazing human beings!

This may give you some idea of where my head is at right now - in the perfect space to clear, unravel and do a Master Cleanse with this theme in mind. Right now I am still finding these spaces within myself, a place that holds my own worth that can be guide me forward on my path. 

April

Turkeys in the pen, eyeing up my camera!

Inter-generational Energy Transference

I had dreams of energy all night and the irony is so did my husband - usually when that happens with such synchronicity we are about to break through into something new and different. Hopefully to some other side of these walls of resistance.

In my dreams I was sitting in a room where people were speaking about energy with some explaining how the energy field worked and that you could only take on energy from the previous first generation. Of course I was bursting with some additional facts concerning inter-generational energy transference via DNA and especially mitrochondrial DNA..... 

But I was holding back a little, perhaps wondering if anyone would listen or understand. When I woke up I kew that this is one of the (many) ways I hold myself back in life. I don't always speak about these things I know so well.

I have been studying, examining, working with and analyzing the human energy field for more than 25 years. As a Medical Intuitive, the better my diet is, the better I care for myself and the more I clear and cleanse my own body - the better I can see, hear and understand what is taking place within and around these electromagnetic fields.

The inter-generational aspects of moving energy forward are vital components of how human fields function - for both good and ill. We will certainly bring forward all the negative patterns from times past such as famine or health miasms.

But more importantly we also carry forward spiritual aspects of our humanity - our collective history, destiny and purpose here on this planet. This information might be loosely organized within our energy fields but it is still there and part of who we are. 

They are activated and woken up through the memory capacity of water (within and taken in) - but that is another post! 

How much these pieces of information help or hinder us in our lifetimes here often have to do with several other factors such as the state of toxicity within our bodies. When we have high toxicity within our cells and tissues - we produce an energy field with the same attributes. 

If you want to have a healthy functioning energy field (it all starts there) the best approach is to clean up your diet. Start from scratch, teach yourself to eat properly, heal your body first and then you can tackle other deeper or bigger issues. (My book called How to Detox and Heal your Body details how I started out on this path many years ago)

Your mission, purpose and destiny will not be revealed to you until you are in a place to act on it. You have to be healthy and safe for that to happen. 

April

Universal Energy Laws 

Closing the Energy Leaks

It's still early in the day and my dreams from last night are so fresh in my mind.  It was as if I had been dreaming all night about the same people and situation - something from very long ago. Right now I am feeling quite pleased because maybe I am getting to the heart of a matter.

Perhaps the single biggest obstacle in my life has been one of the person who bullied me as a child, who has had a hold over my energy for all of my life. I have not seen or had anything to do with this person in over a decade - but she still has dominated my dreams and my energy field.

The biggest single drain on my energy resources - which had been obvious to myself and even to those whom I used to work with in an energetic capacity years ago. They could hardly believe this was possible to such an extent.

Oh, but it is, because I wake up most days and feel as if I have been drained of everything. I can wake up in the mornings feeling tired, grumpy and not myself. Knowing immediately it is 'her' and then work at closing the energy leaks as my day wears on.

For the most part these days with the fasting and advanced energy work, I am able to combat this particular energy vampire - however it has felt in the past as if I was making little or no headway. And it has taken me nearly a year of repeatedly doing cleanses to finally get down to the heart of this.

So, right now, I am pleased. My work on myself is paying off. My dreams are showing me things are changing - last night I was deep into my shadow side making the changes necessary. 

Once more proof that persistence and patience do indeed pay off - keep going after your intended goal. Don't let anything put you off or slow you down and you will get there. Simply because you have worked for it and created the change yourself.

That is magic in action!

April

The Pagan Diet