Pushing Forward on the Spiritual Path

I have been working all week at trying to figure out where I am at with my journey- the only words I can use to describe how I feel at the moment, is close to some endings and at the start of other new beginnings. Really, a sort of end of the trail feeling on the one hand...

While, I am also looking forward to getting started on some other new aspect of walking this path, I can feel something holding me back on this old road. Today my plan is to do all I can to finish up some on-going tasks and projects, so I can think about my next ones and make plans accordingly.

But, you know how this goes - it's as if absolutely everything is distracting me from the things I really want to focus on and I feel as if I am spinning my wheels. That is where this slowed down feeling comes in - yesterday once again, everything was late (everyone) and it held me up. 

Quite a lesson here though - why do we allow ourselves to become dependent on others for anything, yet, we have to trust and interact with our fellow humans (some of the time at least! LOL), or do we just give up and fall back on trying to do everything ourselves? 

Hmmm....

What if there is a reason for the slow down? Could things not be quite ready at the end? Might the way be blocked for our own good? Or is this some malicious energy we have taken on which is seeding equally negative thought patterns?

Or perhaps it is all of the above - I never liked those sorts of questions - but anyway, that is where we more often than not, find ourselves. Caught between living, walking, trying and wishing - all in the same breath.

We want to move on from here, we are desperately trying to get energy cleared and sorted, however darkness rolls in and the progress is very slow at best. So, what to do with all of this, how do we find our way out of here?

Fight like hell to get yourself moving and do whatever it takes to pull yourself up and out. This is the equivalent of being mired down in the muck and is no longer funny. Today, I will push forward, to my limits (whatever they are, I guess I am about to find them).

Onwards and upwards,

April

Early morning sunrise