'Feeling' My Way Forward

This week has been exceptionally busy….however I am getting better and better at being organized so usually things go very well. I guess for me it’s all about adjustment – this part of the spiritual path is quite different from any other and it has taken me a few weeks (months?) to figure out why.

These days my life is coming back together (well, it’s about time!) both in expected and unexpected ways. Of course, over the years I have been very busy dreaming, planning and hoping for this time, but now that it is here……

Well, it’s a little bit disconcerting.

Or strange.

And I am feeling as if I am still waiting for things to cave in or the bottom to fall out…..or perhaps something even more then that.

Even though I am anticipating something great, that my life is coming back, growing, shifting, changing and taking shape and I am in awe of what is taking place. If anything I am still learning how to walk this new path – on this part of the journey I must deal with all I have carried in my heart……

For so very long I have not really lived or felt anything too deeply (the uncertainty and insecurity covered everything)…..not that I was shut down or anything. My heart was guiding me and leading me, however some of those inner doors to the profound were tightly closed.

Now, in this new place I have to re-learned (energy re-pattern) how to let those doors open. Let my guard down and relax into this new pace of life changing events I have set for myself.

My heart was strong enough to guide me this far…..and I know it is strong enough to take me the rest of the way. Now, where did I put that inner map!

April

ducks in the herb garden

Working Through An Energy Block - Finding the Positive

Today has been a day of change (again!) not in a huge way…but just the subtle under currents have been shifting around. This of course will create major changes on the surface in due time.

One thing I have caught myself saying several times a day lately is “I don’t know’. Actually this is something new for me, mostly because I firmly believe that I do know, my body knows and the information comes up to the surface as I need it.

Of course this is coming in from somewhere else and is in the energy around me. I have been working away at this block it has created in my energy field (it’s been there for lifetimes) and my body and come up with some interesting things.

First of all – as this block shrinks a lot of old ideas, interests and dreams have come flooding back in to fill the gaps. Some of these wishes and hopes I have long since given up on or thought I could take them no further.

Another surprising element of removing this block is finding out how much it has affected my mind and therefore my thinking. This one particular block has very much been at the core of all my frustrations over the years, especially interfering with my work (we are what we think).

And it has revolved around one person (I was bullied as a child and even as an adult by this person) who has been a constant reminder of just how unsafe and open I was in my energy field.

Now that I am loosening these chains and finding the way forward, I not only feel like a new person…it sort of seems as if I am something different from what I had thought I was (does that make sense?) or only had glimpses of.

And yet, it’s not as if I don’t know myself….I guess what has been coming up to the surface are things I thought about, but dared not dream about. Parts of me buried so deeply, even I had forgotten they were there.

In a way that is the most positive thing I can say about the situation of being bullied – you learn to hide and store away all that is precious to you….once it is safe, it’s like a treasure chest has opened….

An unexpected bonus!

April

Dreams & Visions....

Today has been a great day with regards to change…not that much has altered that I can put my finger on…but things just feel as if they are different. I had an incredible dream last night as well…

Even though I dream something nearly every night of my life, there are times when an incredible dream comes along and you know it just means something special…

So, for the dream!

I was lying on the ground looking up, it was sort of like camping outside in the open, we were getting ready to sleep and I was with a group of other people. Each of us had an individual square of land, like a little plot – I could see everyone (including myself) as if I was looking from above.

The thing we were looking at or talking about, was the fact it was evening or nighttime, yet the sun was still in the sky, together with the moon on the opposite side. In the dream I was remembering the times in my childhood in Labrador when the sun dipped down, but did not set fully during the summer months…

However this sun in my dream was fairly high up in the sky, yet it was sort of dark as well.

Either way, it was a fascinating dream and I have been thinking about it all day even as I kept busy with cooking our celebration meal….but right now as I finally get a chance to sit down – I am trying to sort out/process what it might mean for me.

It was a psychic dream (the ones you have upon waking) – so something interesting is coming my way, that is for sure. Now to see what these next few days bring….

April

Wild garlic....

Life Is Gathering Around Us....

Change is in the air again today and there is always something new to be marveled at. One of the things that has become most important to me while walking this path – is to pay close attention to nature. It's everywhere!

And right now there is not a better time to be completely in touch with the world around us – it’s spring and life is right there in front of us. It’s hard to miss all the bright colours, the buds, the sprouts and the lovely looking flowers.

So….eat up! This is the best time of the year to get back into your body in a grounded, gentle kind of way. It’s also about new beginnings, the start of the year really is now – all of life seems to gather itself around us – forcing us higher.

If you have been enjoying your green nibbles from the garden in any way, your energy field is healing from the harsh winter spent inside as well as any long term damage from toxins and old self-defeating patterns.

Of course, all change starts with the energy around us (and within us) and these shifts will spill over into the emotional, spiritual and eventually physical re-patterning we have been reaching for.

All it takes is for our bodies to be shown a simpler, healthier and better way to live – or perhaps to find life again – and we are off, into that higher realm we have been dreaming of.

Is it any wonder when we speak of our dreams we refer to them in terms of how high they are, within our reach and lofty places….in order to raise up to where they are, we must work together with nature….

It’s a part of us we can no longer ignore – not if we want to walk further up this spiritual path. 

April

Filling the Void - with more of myself

Today has been a day of deep magic – a lot has changed and shifted for me in a very short period of time. I have been fasting during the daytime – usually until I can sense a shift in my energy and then eating a small meal at the end of the day.

The reason I mention magic is because that is exactly what it feels like…it’s as if something other worldly yet quite wonderful has emerged out of the darkness, but it is of such a creative energy and bursting with potential.

From where I am standing right now, it seems as if this part of me or these aspects of my being have been cloaked and closed off for a very long time. The work I have been doing recently – such as taking my food to a whole new level (wild harvested etc.) – has been opening up an entire new dimension within myself.

I am still not entirely certain all that will emerge out of this – I know it has to do with my lifetimes past – the person I was in other times and the pieces of me that had been put down because of my beliefs and my work with herbs, energy medicine and intuition.

Perhaps more of this ancient knowledge will re-form in my sub-consciousness as I am continually freed from the constraints of times past – fearful situations and all things to do with being held back in any way.

Today I feel as if I am surging ahead in so many ways…not only with my creativity , but with my garden and each of my hopes, goals and dreams. Perhaps some of the fear has been lifted and is continuing to lift along with this heavy energy.

It has been a long time in coming – but once the energy triggers are in place, things will begin to move up and out, to help push out the darkness that needs so much to be displaced.

All that is left then…is to fill in the void with more of myself – what a lovely feeling that is!

April

On My Way - the Doorway

Off to an early start today – after great dreams last night about the garden, herbs and making foods etc. with the garden harvest. It’s always nice to wake up feeling as if you have travelled somewhere important during the night hours…

Or am I the only one who feels that way? LOL

Actually I often have the sense of being very far away at night (and something throughout the day too!) but sometimes it just feels significant or as if there is a very deep purpose to be understood here within the context of my life.

So…I am back on planet earth this morning having ventured into the world of herbs during the night – visiting and exploring these wonderful dimensions and all things Faerie – it always feels like home.

Even though the rain pounded the roots and windows, seemingly all night long – the day is quite still and calm at the moment. And the rain has stopped even though the air is misty and wet.

It’s a real soft Irish morning here in West Cork….you can almost hear the grass grow. Perhaps a day that dreams are made of – one thing I do know for certain, my night dreams (dimension 20) are far more about my life then my waking day.

If that makes any sense, (it does to me) and I have long felt that I am in search of a door to walk through – an energetic portal – in order to shift back into my life, switching dimensions from night into day.

For some reason I even think I know when this reversal happened – and it is medication related….years ago when I was a child and given copious amounts of antibiotics for the strep throats, chest coughs and colds, I always seemed to have.

These antibiotics do far more damage then just knock the life out of us – they rob us of the life we are born to live. Bringing the gut back, repopulating our guts (I have my own methods as a Clinical Nutritionist that really work!) is the only way forward into light and life.

Have a healthy day,

April