Holiday Season of Our Dreams....

All I am thinking about today is it's a good thing I am so prepared for our little holiday - because I still seemingly have loads to do! And here I was thinking how organized I am this year....

The thing is - you can be sorted out and have everything in order, but part of the season seems to be about the last minute thought process. This is not about re-thinking gifts or food or anything like that, it seems to be far more about coming to a deeper understanding.

About ourselves.

I wonder how many of us have never managed to have the Solstice/Christmas/Yule holiday of our dreams? And at the same time, I wonder why that is. Could it be that so many 'needy' energy suckers drain the life out of us and we end of just wanting to get this over with.

It might also be all centered around our own expectations - which for me, used to be high and as the days, weeks, years moved on with each season, they gave way to not expecting anything. From anyone. 

And that is just plain sad.

These past few years, I placed my expectations way up there again - within myself and all around me. And I am trusting to not be disappointed (each time, a little more, a little better) - so far this year, with Solstice already come and gone, I haven't been let down. The energy right now, is magical there is so much change and goodness on it's way to us...

Of course, to feel this way right now (and I love this time of year) is a gift - it has taken me years to come full circle back once again to where I should be. From where I sit right now, I know it has to do with the child inside of me - the little person I once was.

And am now again.

Her expectations are coming back to where they should be - and so is the joy of Christmas.

April 

Love is a puppy....

Finding Peace this Season

Today is day 10 of my detox and I am doing well. Yesterday turned out to be quite an interesting day after all, however, it started out with the energy of something I couldn't quite put my finger on. It took me nearly all day, but I finally could name what it was.

It was wickedness. I even had to look it up to get an accurate definition just to see what I was experiencing. It's as if I had found a thread and now I had the work of unraveling to do to get to the bottom of this ill will.

My day was not altogether unpleasant, I was just subjected to someone's malicious intent, when I wouldn't do what they wanted me to do. Of course, if you know anything about me by now, I have a mind and a will of my own (multiply that by a few in our house!) and I do as I see fit.

That being said, doesn't mean I don't do things for others - I just will not do something that will compromise, damage or otherwise short change myself or my family. At one time - I did, as a matter of course, it seemed to have been built into me in some way...

I always ended up with the short end of the stick and so did my family because I could not say no even when it was to something that could potentially drain me. Well, this week I said no - and boy was there a backlash.

The amount of darkness and evil intent that has surfaced has been profound. Even though this is a difficult part of the path to walk through I am glad it is coming up to the surface (this detox is working!). At least now it will finally clear - hopefully once and for all.

Obviously this has been a very big pattern in my life and I see it in so many others lives especially this time of the year - see if this fits you: 

Receive an invitation to someone's house or to be expected to go out for a social function, grumble and complain about them, not wanting to go. End up going because you feel you have to and then complaining some more about the people, what was said, done or wasn't said.

Does any of this sound familiar? Well, for me it meant tying up precious energy but far more then that, not living in integrity. Who was I really kidding by spending time around people I had no connection with and at the end of it all, I didn't even like. They didn't like me either, it was 'social' thing....and the biggest energy drain in our lives because we are participating in a false relationship.

Perhaps this year be on the lookout for drama, energy sapping social engagements and do something else instead - you might just find a little more peace in your life in it's place....

April

Cloved Oranges I am working on with the children...