This master cleanse is turning out to be a little different, so far there are less physical symptoms and far more emotional, spiritual and energetic symptoms. Perhaps it has to do with the depth of cleanse at this stage or just that this particular patch of ground that I am now entering has scars that are deeply seared into my soul.
I don't quite know how else to describe it - all that is coming up right now is about one single past era that I had as a Beothuk Indian - perhaps this is much more a part of me because this is still in my present DNA, but also because I spent so many lifetimes in that location? Having grown up in Newfoundland and relived these memories time and again throughout my early life, was not helping to close any wounds.
But, I think that perhaps now, I might begin to get to the bottom of it all and at least start to purge out the fear, toxins and negativity that I have carried for so long. I know that this impedes everything in my life at this moment. The one thing that holds me back, is what if it happens again?
Perhaps this is the main fear for so many of us - what if we allow our spirituality to flourish, develop and grow, to go out there in the world and be exactly who we are and it (persecution, witch hunt, murder and death) takes place all over again?
Over the years I have come to realize time and again, how the biggest issue facing those of us walking the spiritual journey is one of safety.
I remember being hunted down through the woods in Newfoundland, pursued and then shot before I was taken hostage (sent to work in someone's house as a maid for the rest of my life). I remember how many of us were killed in a short space of time - because we were deemed 'savages' by those with the guns.
This soullessness has prevailed throughout the ages - of course the only ones seeking to kill and destroy an entire race of people (this happens the world over) are those who hunt what they do not have. Harvesting souls has been big business for these religions for far too long and of course it still goes on each and every day under everyone's nose.
In my dreams these past two nights - the first one was of a woman waking up or coming back from having been in some form of deep shock. Then last night a very familiar dream for me (or perhaps a memory) was of being pursued and then shot in the shoulder. In my dream I could see the bullet, it was old and large, like a big piece of lead.
Even with all of these things moving, coming up and being processed in a (hopefully) better way, there is still much good. I also dreamed of Gaia or the great mother last night - that was my first dream - she took me on a journey, together with hundreds or thousands of other women, moving over time or space (floating, walking, running) until we ended up at a tree that looked like nothing I have ever seen here on earth.
She has been teaching me about spiritual safety, as she guides me home through the history of my life
April
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| Our goose and some ducks in the garden |
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