Broken Pieces - Path of the Soul

I got up this morning bracing myself for more, worse or something bad to happen and right away realized this was a conditioned response of - what - grief, loss? Lifetimes of feeling devastated because of the energy around me and this darkness which has been rising up from the memories I carry. 

Today I should be feeling great - physically I do, my gut works well, I have eaten my porridge with fresh fruit and even had a piece of my Rosemary Sea salt bread (fabulous by the way) - yet I am feeling awful. And I can hardly put words to it - a searing ball of hurt.

Somewhere inside of my soul I have found a broken piece and now I have work to do.

Last night my dreams were scattered, but then so was I for the remainder of my day after we discovered our dead ducks and had to kill the fox. I usually see the spirit of the animal leave fairly immediately after it dies. My ducks essences' have remained while the fox was a full couple of hours before he went his way.

I think it was the way he left that has bothered me since. He moved with such an air of disbelief, yet he knew what he had done. He kept glancing back at me, as if waiting for me to come after him again. He stayed with his body for my benefit, out of defiance, to remind me that there was one duck who got away. 

We have been unable to find one brown duck - she was probably the oldest in the barn and I can sense her around, so I think she was able to fly off. Only now she will be too afraid to return. So hopefully she will see us there today and come home - if she's around, and can trust the barn and us to keep her safe again.

That fox waited even after death to kill the remaining duck and it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Because I was the child who survived an attack on our village in my lifetimes past - I got away, with help from the others, entrusted with the truth of who and what we were and most importantly, what had happened to us. 

Nothing can be erased, not one thing is forgotten - each of the ways and means used to stamp out awakening DNA have failed and will never work because we are designed by nature herself to remember these things. 

A fox cannot kill what he doesn't understand.

April 

Porridge with homemade jam and banana